The first sign of green grass and the first melody of birdsong never fail to push the minds buttons. Suddenly I’m time travelling through my memories. Sifting through randomly looking for you. I stop right at the moment you entered my life.

I can almost smell your aftershave. The mischievous glint in your eye, the grin of pure happiness etched across your face. How could I not smile back? I bite my lip and savour the flashbacks, the same butterflies awake and start to flip somersaults inside of me. So many memories. I have favourites and decide to allow myself the luxury of dwelling on these.

Like this one time when we sat at the coffee shop, the coffee had long dried up but our conversation seemed to go on forever. I rested my head on your shoulder, you kissed my hair, I lost my breath and the words coming out of my mouth froze. we sat like that in silence.

…and the time it snowed so heavily that all public transport stopped running. It seemed like a blessing from above. To be stuck with you on that train. the four hour delay flew by.

…or that one time when you sang to me until I fell asleep. You were out of key and sang it all wrong but for me it was the most beautiful song ever sung.

… or the look on your face when I cooked treats for you, knowing you had a long day ahead.

…especially the time you surprised me by giving me my first driving lesson in your pride and joy. You had only had it a week and spent every penny you had on it.

…or the way you prayed out loud for the entire 5 metres I drove.

..but most of all, I keep replaying that last conversation, how we avoided the problems and talked about everything but what we meant to each other.

So many of them

… I thought I had lost you. I thought that last conversation was the end. The only way to erase the pain was to erase every sign of you. I stopped drinking coffee. I stopped listening to that song. I stopped cooking.

Time went on, the wounds slowly healed. The smell of coffee no longer made me double over in pain, that song worked its magic turning tears into smiles. I swore I would never let myself feel that pain again.

and then as if nothing had happened you re-entered my life.

The same mischievous glint in your eye, the same all consuming smile. How could I not smile back?