Archive for March, 2010

Right so wrong.

I hate that they could’ve been right.

“If I’m the only one that opens up, who do you talk to?” she’d say. That’d usually come after I’d made a case for the fact that really, she had nothing to lose in talking to me. After all, who did I know?

“Don’t worry about me. I’m okay,” was my base response. Quite often, it would suffice. Continue reading “Right so wrong.” »

lost.

I started sleeping to escape the feeling. Now I have to stay awake and its all come rushing back. I need to focus. I need to work. But life suddenly requires an answer and my heart just will not rest.

Cabin Fear

Having someone to share life with is one of the most beautiful experiences. You eat together, you work together, you laugh together and then you turn on each other…and I’m not talking the Brokeback Mountain way. It’s that split moment when all of the ugliness inside of you collects together and begins to spew out of your mouth. The most vulgar comments come out from the deepest, darkest dungeons of your soul. You no longer care, you no longer have control because now that the venom inside of you has been unlocked there is no stopping it. Wave after wave of verbal abuse pours out from you almost tripping over itself to get out.

Then just as suddenly as it started, it all begins to calm down, you come out of the trance-like state and begin to feel the aftershocks. Oh wait, weren’t those the words you just uttered? They’re now coming from someone else’s mouth, and look at that they’ve grown fangs and look uglier then they did when they were coming from you….wow what a monster you’ve set loose on someone you actually cared about…

A touch of spring

How can one truly feel love if they have never suffered the pain of heartbreak and crushed dreams? There seems to be a certain integrity in the depth of emotion that only comes from pain. Whispered nothings from a lover sound sweeter, an unexpected smile explodes into laughter and a simple gaze becomes an intense longing. Surely a love so deep can only come after pain?

my thoughts exactly

“Bye, you ain’t never gunna see me again if I can help it, little felon, take it easy,
Fresh out of force tears, kisses, and hugs,
You about to lose the company your misery loves,
I ain’t never did nothing but try to cure your disease,
At least help the symptoms, instead you infected me,
I’m not the kind of man to draw a line in the sand,
If you gotta draw at all then it’s time for you to scram” – Brother Ali (walking away)